What improvements specifically would you suggest for this small bit of blank verse?

Fanúshi Khiyál

On ancient avenues the pilgrims come,
The box perched on their shoulders; it is lit
By candlelight that pierces through the dark.
And there, upon the fragile round they move ―
The painted shadow figures one by one,
In orbit and illumined by the flame,
Yet with no name, transmuting, will become
On each turn of the slow-revolving wheel
Transformed, as if the one where they now went
Had disappeared instead, and they’d become
This other pilgrim on an endless trail
That disappears around the farthest limb.
And where the light itself seems dim and dies
Arise the archetypes we’ve seen before,
Some low and forked, and others proud as kings,
Each slightly altered yet much as before,
All caught up in the endless sad parade
And pageantry within their tiny frame
Until the candle at the very heart,
Which lights the long procession, melts away
And all the darkness of the outer world
Becomes as one with what is in the box,
An empty socket where the warmth still clings
Until this sacred thing of light and dark
And purpose to the world is borne anew.
We are no other than a moving row
Of Magic Shadow-shapes that come and go
Round with the Sun-illumined Lantern held
In Midnight by the Master of the Show.

a quatrain from ‘The Rubaiyat’ (Fitzgerald)

A total re-write, it’s awful. (JOKE).

Haha Peter, you know as well as I do that I would never be in any position to offer improvements upon a poem from the very person I learn my ‘poetic skills’ if you will, from. (I even pasted it into the comment box then deleted it back out again hoping the Yahoo spell checker would give me something to correct LOL).

The only thing I wasn’t too sure about was the use of the past participle ‘borne’, but that’s just me and hey, what do I know about poetry eh? .

Made for a great read Peter – as usual, keep writing!